


Love ain't easy

by ChiaraBarbieri



Series: Otayuri week! [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Drunk Yuri Plisetsky, First Kiss, I don't get english at all, I had so many problems with this fic guys, I wanted to post it for the first day of the, I was drunk as fuck, Love Confessions, M/M, OtaYuri Week, OtaYuri Week 2017, Yuri has a potty mouth!, actually it's off-screen, also, and all he says about being 21 and drinking is actually me, and my friend, and pretty tame, and the second part was outlined while I was drunk, aparently drunk me loves ranting about love, because I'm 21 and drunk, but i re-wrote it so many times, he's 21 in here, i'm legit crying, it's also me, tbh mostly my friend, the first part is a mess, there's no wild night guys, why potty mouth?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 00:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9854624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiaraBarbieri/pseuds/ChiaraBarbieri
Summary: He hates love, he doesn’t care how ironic that is, love is stupid and it hurts like a bitch.Nobody told him that it would be so hard falling in love with his best friend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Tbh, this is a wild ride because I wrote the first part when I was drunk af, and the second part was outline while I was also drunk and the third part was pure death because I finished and my laptop died and I had to write it again.
> 
> Yay technology!
> 
> So.. enjoy!
> 
> -My first language is not english and I also learned it by myself, so please be nice it's been a long day-

He hates love, he doesn’t care how ironic that is, love is stupid and it hurts like a bitch.

With a sigh Yuri decides to stop rolling in the bed and do something other than moping, that of course, it’s easier said than done because once he sits the only thing he wants to do is continue moping about how much he hates love.

Nobody told him that it would be so hard falling in love with his best friend.

You see, if it was someone else it would be easier because then he wouldn’t worry about ruining their friendship, he would confess and if the other part liked him back it would be fine and if that wasn’t the case he would suffer a little and then continue with his normal life, they would ignore each other for the rest of their lives and everyone is happy.

Ok, he actually knows that it’s not as easy but it would be easier than his current situation.

He doesn’t know when he fell in love with Otabek, he always knew that he was incredibly handsome yes -you’d need to be blind not to see how fucking perfect he was- but admitting that someone is attractive doesn’t mean that you are in love with them, for example there’s Viktor, everyone knows he is handsome, is Yuri attracted to him? fucking not, gross.

So the question is not only when but also why.

A part of him thinks that it’s because he always treated him like an equal. Another thinks that it’s because to him Yuri is only that, Yuri, not the ice tiger or the fairy of Russia, Otabek sees him as a person not just a famous figure skater. It also could be the fact that he can act freely around Beka and show him a side of him that only few people have seen.

And that’s the reason why he can’t let him know how he feels, because he can survive with this constant pain in his chest as long as they are friends, as long as they are together.

It doesn’t matter if it kills him a little bit more every time he sees him.

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing he notices the next morning is the horrible headache that threatens to explode his head like a watermelon that participated in that stupid challenge from years ago.

The second thing he notices is a delicious smell that comes from the kitchen, which is rare because first of all he lives alone, and second he is a shitty cook, so there’s no way he cooked anything.

Slowly he made his way out of his room to see what was happening.

“Oh! good morning Yurio” said a familiar voice.

“Huh?! what are you doing here katsudon?!” he screamed not moving from his spot by the door.

The older man smiled while he served the scrambled eggs in a plate before putting it in a free spot of the table. Yuri ate in silence listening the other one talk about mundane things that happened since they last saw each other a few days ago. Once he finished eating, Yuuri took his plate and washed it before sitting in front of him.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened yesterday?”

“What are you talking about?”, he really had no idea what katsudon was referring to, they haven’t seen or talked to each other since last week.

“You called me yesterday around 2:00 am”, Yuuri had a comprehensive smile in his face, as if he understood the reason.

The thing is, he doesn’t remember the call, then again that probably was because he was pretty drunk last night.

Fuck, he thought while covering his face with his hands. He needed to remind himself that the fact that he was 21, legally an adult for over 3 years now, doesn’t mean he can drink every alcoholic beverage his money can buy.

I mean, he _can_ do it.

It’s just... not healthy.

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking”, there is a chant of shame in his head that sounds like septa Unella and to be honest he kinda feels like Cersei in this very moment.

He needs to stop watching Game of Thrones so much.

Yuuri doesn’t judge him about that. “There’s no need to apologize, you know that I don’t remember anything that happens when I’m drunk too, but...”, he makes a small pause, of course he does, sometimes he forgets that he can be as dramatic as Viktor. “I found out that we say our true feelings, the alcohol lows our inhibitions and we start to spell the truth”.

“Ok, look”, he starts irritated, “I don’t know what truth are you talking about because I don’t remember a damn thing about yesterday and also, could you please stop saying complicated shit? I’m too hangover to actually think!”.

Of course Yuuri smiles at him, he hates that smile, he doesn’t need anyone’s pity,

“I think you know what I’m talking about, you just don’t want to admit it, not even to yourself”

“Well, I don’t, could you enlighten me you mighty lord who knows it all?”

“You are in love with Otabek but you don’t want to ruin your friendship with him, so you’re just going to continue suffering in silence while you see how he is happy with someone else”

_Well, fuck._

He chews his lip, “Is it that obvious?”

“Kinda,” Yuuri answers easily, “but is also the fact that you called at 2 am drunk out of your mind and crying because apparently Otabek was never going to love you back”

_Double fuck._

“Then what are you doing here if you know everything? I’m not going to change my mind, I hate love and I hate that at first I thought it was going to be easy. I was too naive to think that I was going to fall in love with him and he was going to love me back, this kind of shit only happens in the movies, the reality is other, I’m going to be pining over him for god knows how long and he is going to get married and have a perfect family and be happy for the rest of his live, meanwhile I’m going to live with 50 cats and die alone! Fuck!”

He felt like he could cry, but he still had some dignity, so he kept the tears at bay.

“I can’t believe I thought that love was easy”, he whispered not looking at Yuuri in the eyes.

“Why would you think that?” Yuuri asked, his voice still calm as in the beginning of the conversation.

“You and Viktor of course,” he answered bitterly, “you guys clicked the moment you saw each other and since then you’ve been inseparable”.

Katsudon looked surprised about that, he didn’t understand why, it was pretty obvious that their love deserved a place in a fairy tale book. Actually, he was pretty sure that Phichit was working on that seeing that the Thai man was, in his own words, the number one Viktuuri shipper or some shit like that.

“I’m sorry that you think like that Yurio, but you couldn’t be more wrong,” Yuuri said while he squirmed a little in his seat, “you see, love is not easy, it never is, not even Viktor and I were exempted of our own dose of suffering. You see, Viktor fell in love with me at the banquet and spent the entire season pining after someone who didn’t remember a thing. And when he finally found me, I wasn’t the same person, I was distant and nervous, I pushed him away a lot and he didn’t understand why, so he stayed as mi coach and my friend even if he actually wanted more than that, and he did it for me. He was hurting for a long time and it still pains me how much suffering I caused him.

“And me? Viktor was always an unreachable dream, something that would never happen not matter how much I wished for it. And suddenly he was in my house saying that he was going to be my coach, it was a dream come true, so obviously I panicked and pushed him away and by doing that I hurt myself a little bit more each day, because while I was doing everything for myself, I was also doing it for him, my results would reflect on him and I went into an anxiety attack and we hurt each other. After the kiss in the Cup of China, everything was beautiful, but soon enough my anxiety got the best of me and I decided to retire and that Viktor should return to the ice, and for that to happen, I needed to break off our relationship not matter how much I loved him. But in my intent of freeing him I didn’t consider his feelings, or even if he wanted to come back, I was thinking of him when I made my decision and you know Yuri? That’s a way of being selfish, because I forgot that we were no longer two individuals, we were a couple, we were one, and because of that I couldn’t decide what was better for us.

“I’m no saying that I need to consult him in every little thing, of course, you have to be a little bit selfish and put yourself first sometimes, but there are things that are necessary to talk as a couple or as friends, things that will affect your future, because you are not alone anymore, there is someone beside you, and you have to realize that there’s no longer only the words ‘I want’, there are also the words ‘I should’, ‘I can’, ‘I have to’, and it’s because you are with someone that you can’t leave them outside of your life, you owe them that”.

Finally Yuuri felt silent, lost in his memories and he himself needed some time to process what he just heard. He knew that katsudon tried to retire but he didn’t know the full story, but it actually made sense, seeing how sad was Viktor when he told him that Yuuri wanted to retire.

So not even those two who were obviously soulmates had an easy path.

_Huh_

He cleared his throat, “I get what you just said, but what is your point? You wouldn’t have told me this unless you had a reason”.

“My point is,” Yuuri said seriously, “that you and Otabek have a strong friendship, I know for a fact that you want to be there for him even if it kills you and I also know that Otabek would do the same for you, you already have a connection, you are already one, it doesn’t matter if it’s platonic or romantic, and because of that you can’t leave him out of this, he would want to know and make his own decision, and to be honest I doubt that he would stop being friends with you just because you are in love with him, so...”

He smiled a little, “stop being selfish and tell him how I feel?”

Yuuri stood up and hugged him, he could help but reciprocate it. He was vulnerable, ok? And the last time they hugged was at the wedding, sue him.

“Yeah, so how about we watch a movie and I prepare katsudon for lunch?” Yuuri said while he pulled apart.

“Katsudon pirozhki?” he asked hopefully.

“Okay, okay”

“Where is Viktor by the way?” he asked walking to the living room to pick a movie.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you? He is helping Yakov to train the new skater” Yuuri answered while he looked for the ingredients.

“Evgenia? She has potential”

“I know, she is also very cute!”

Yuri rolled his eyes and flopped down on the sofa, “you are trying to adopt her? you already have the chicken nugget”.

“Of course not! you know that you are our only son”

“HUH?! YOU ARE NOT MY PARENTS!” he could hear Katsudon laughing from the kitchen.

He smiled.

They may not be his parents, but they surely were like family.

 

* * *

 

 

He was nervous.

After spending the day with Yuuri he had gathered the courage to ask Otabek to come to his apartment to tell him something important.

That, of course, was confessing his undying love for him.

But while Yuuri had calmed him earlier that day, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t a little bit scared of the reaction that Otabek would have upon hearing him.

It also didn’t help that he was running late.

God, his hands were sweating and it was a miracle that he hadn’t make a hole in the floor from how much he was pacing. His cat had tried to calm him, but not even she was able to. He texted Yuuri but he didn’t tell him nothing that he didn’t know already.

Oh god.

What if Beka was with someone else? What if he was part or an accident? What if he somehow knew what Yuri wanted to tell him and that’s why he isn’t here? What if he got fed up and decided to go back to Almaty and never come back?

_What if?_

_What if? What if?_

_Whatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwhatifwha-?_

The doorbell rang and he rushed to open the door, there stood Otabek, handsome as ever if only a little bit agitated.

“Beka! you are finally here I thought something happened orthatyourealizedthatyoudidn’twantmeandleftforever!” he said hugging him

“What was that?” Otabek looked confused when he finally pulled apart.

Yuri flushed. “It was nothing, sorry, I just got anxious, you usually are very punctual”.

Otabek smiled and kissed his forehead, Yuri couldn’t help but lean into it. “I’m sorry, I had a call from home and you know how my sisters can be”.

“Yeah, they miss you a lot, I don’t blame them, when you are away for a few days I also miss you a lot” he said while invited him in, “it’s hard not to see you everyday”, he sighed before sitting in his loveseat.

Otabek sat beside him and put his hand in his forehead with a frown.

Yuri looked at him confused. “What are you doing?”

“I’m want to see if you have fever, I mean, it’s definitely not normal for you to be so open about your feelings”, he dared to say that with a serious face, so Yuri slapped his hand out of his face.

“You’re an idiot”

“I’m your idiot”

He flushed again, he knew that Otabek was just being friendly, but that doesn’t change the fact that he makes his heart flutter.

At having not answer Otabek took his hand. “What’s happening? You sounded nervous on the phone, is anything wrong?”

Yuri looked at their hands, he couldn’t bear to look at him right now.

“I... I need to tell you something important, it’s hard though”

“Yura, you know that you can tell me anything, what’s wrong? Please, look at me”. Otabek sounded worried and he can’t help but tear up.

“I love you” he says in a whisper, but he knows that Otabek heard him, “and I’m scared that this is going to ruin our friendship, but today I talked to Yuuri and he said a lot of things that made me think... I don’t want to be selfish and push you out of my life just because I love you, because you mean a lot to me and I know that I can’t live with you hating me and-

He couldn’t finish the sentence.

Otabek took his face in his hands and before he could say something he kissed him.

It wasn’t perfect or long but it felt so good, he had dreamed this moment for a long time and now it was actually happening and he was so happy if only a little bit confused.

The kiss stopped as soon as it started.

Otabek smiled. “I’m sorry, you were ranting and I didn’t know how to stop you, it was the only thing I could think of, is it ok?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, “more tan fine actually, but why?”

Otabek put a strand of his hair behind his ear “I thought it was obvious, Yura”

“Maybe, but I want to hear it”

Beka moved him from his spot on the loveseat to his lap, he felt his heart beating quickly in his chest and all those rom-coms cliches that you think are bullshit until you are in the same situation. “I love you Yura, for a long time now, I was also scared of ruining our friendship, but it was also because I didn’t know if you were prepared for a relationship and you were always so focused in your career that I didn’t think you had the time, so I decided to just be your friend, but it seems like I should have told you since the very beginning, sorry, I love you”.

“I love you too, you idiot,” he laughed, he was relived that his love was reciprocated, of course that didn’t mean that he wasn’t nervous, he knew that some things would change as their relationship evolved, so he was a little bit scared about that but he also knew that some things would stay the same.

In a way he was actually lucky of how the things progressed, it hadn’t been easy and he may not have and incredible love story like Yuuri and Viktor, but he was happy and Otabek was too, and that’s all that mattered to him.

At least for now.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it guys! I'll write for the rest of the week, so leave a review and tell me if you liked it!
> 
> Drunk Sophia loves love ewe


End file.
